untitled

I should be put out in the blistering cold
Rust in the rain,
that lone man everyone seemed to have once loved but
just seemed to have forgotten

This volunteer job, all it is, is something to keep me occupied, something to lead me far astray from remembering how terribly lonely i am, that's all it seems to be, at least right at this moment, the first office is awesome, i know i will get close to those people but still..

I wish i could burst into tears, just explode with my own emotion,
I am made of stone, i have to read other peoples stories to shed a tear, mine is never enough

I guess ive just been crippled by the realist side of me, "at least you have parents, and a home"
always comparing.

I dont want pity, i just want true sincere company is all

Title

The blog's title is derived from a experience i had involving a psychoactive substance. Close my eyes and i there was a road paved towards the sun. I drove upwards, before finally arriving, there was a disco ball and lights, this event was short-lived before the disco ball exploded into fireworks (so reoccurring). I don't encourage use of any substance and if you do, do the world a favor and do your own research. Anyway I integrated this vision with life.

We are all driving towards the sun, in terms of life and death. The closer you get to the sun the more pain brought upon the spirit. It's important for the individual to distract themselves to avoid feeling this pain, the simple pleasures of life.

Purpose of Life

To experience everything that is human, the spectrum of human emotion. 

  A hard thing to come to terms with, and I just recently did myself, is most will never be anybody on this planet, at best you'll be remembered by a minority of the people you interacted with on a daily basis. This isn't a bad thing, at all. 

You will have been long forgotten after decades past and being remembered isn't by any means something you should strive for. Enjoy life, enjoy it with those who make your life better effortlessly. And ride out the sadness and frustrations because happiness couldn't possibly be accentuated without it.
     Imagine a sad, broken man who has little to nothing to live for and with a single event turns extremely happy. The miracle not being the event, no, but the emotion from being so sad to being entirely consumed with joy.

facebook

Tired of reading all these shallow posts about shit nobody should care about. Hoardes of people trying to prove something to one another. It bothers me; the time people waste coming up with these idiotic updates just to gain approval from one another. Where's this effort coming from? It could just as easily be directed into something more personal, I've learnt that everything (this includes a lot of "good") isn't meant to be shared with a very large group of people. Please just keep your good deeds to yourself, why do you plead for reassurance when you know you've done something unselfish?

I'm am not a pessimist, far from, just a little rant.

Time

It bothers me that everything is always so pressed on time. School, you have a class and this certain amount of time to learn the material, time. Half the time you aren't learning the material, you're just getting the shit drilled into you're head. Aside from that you can't really take the initiative to start a class without certain dates being specified, and educating yourself in an entirely new subject is a bit difficult since you won't know what to get into until you come across it in the primary subject you're getting yourself into. I'm not sure how school systems would work if it could be fixed, it'd sure be damn complex and I'm not the person to come up with the idea, but it'd be great, people learning at their own pace, imagine that.

Take this idea of time and you'll see that it applies to so much in our lives. Its a hideous thing, even though it does keep the machines wheel's running. And by that I mean there would be much less productivity in terms of industrialization and such, but that far from the point- the monotony of every day life. A day at a time, the exact same as the last, a little more drama, a little less, we're back where we were the day before. With nothing but a little more experience, useful or useless to show for it.

Fireworks

I was never too crazy about them until I actually sat down and watched them explode into a thousand whisps of joy. I mean as a kid I'd look up to the sky and say "amazing", but as I grew older I learned to appreciate them in a new way, the way where you just want to burst into tears, shout at the top of your lungs, hug the person next to you and be grateful to witness such a wonderous spectacle. We are lucky.

A Start

This is all too new to me, I actually had never sought to start such a thing but I have taken a slight interest towards journalism, lets see where this takes me!

Stories to tell? Ideas to share? I'm not sure where to start, hell let's start with something from Hesse.

Herman Hesse wrote in Siddhartha; experience is the mold that makes a person. Practice or study does not make a person who they are, its the experiences that they have gone through.

Free-spirited, I am, although sometimes shy. I'll share some of my experiences, actually not many at all, and ideas (albeit unoriginal, I mean what idea hasn't been written on paper by some past folk?)